Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.

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I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."

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Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."

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Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

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When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.

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