After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.

 736

0  

It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!" The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten." And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"

 1042

0  

When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.

 1149

0  

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

 1069

0  

Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.

 958

0