Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
 1285
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A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an ... read more
 1031
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
 514
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
 505
0  

Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
 393
0