What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”

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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.

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