Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.

 684

0  

Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."

 573

0  

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.

 788

3  

A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"

 556

0  

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."

 629

1