Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
 421
0  

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
 709
0  

A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby pops right back inside. “Damn!”, says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. “Are you my dad?”, asks the baby. “No, I am your doctor.”, he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get tha ... read more
 1119
0  

You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
 6850
2  

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
 648
1