Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.

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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

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Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey.

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Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.

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We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.

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