A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that ... read more

During the soccer match little Johny sits in the front row. His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother - respond Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.

Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.

Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver." The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"