One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.

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Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

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A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"

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A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.

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A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."

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