Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.