How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.

Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.