Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hou ... read more

Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.

Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"

Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.

How do you know when you honeymoon is over? When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.