Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
 1519
1  

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
 2232
1  

Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
 711
0  

An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’ ‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient. ‘Why?’ asks the doctor. The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
 1258
1  

Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."
 719
1