Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?"
Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?"
Jack: "Prontosaurus."
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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A javelin thrower called Vicky
Found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
She couldn't let go.
Making judging the distance quite tricky.