Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

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A javelin thrower called Vicky Found the grip of her javelin sticky. When it came to the throw She couldn't let go. Making judging the distance quite tricky.

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Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.

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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."

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