Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!

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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."

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Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!

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Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

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