Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!

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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."

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"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

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