Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.

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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."

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