Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!

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"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."

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Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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