An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’ ‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient. ‘Why?’ asks the doctor. The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."

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Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

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"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."

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