Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!

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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."

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Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."

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Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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