A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...
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What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack.
