A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...
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If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
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