Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."

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Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.

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Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.

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