Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.

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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!

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Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.

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Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."

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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.

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