Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.

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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.

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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

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A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."

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