A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.

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Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.

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Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.

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"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

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