Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.

Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.

An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?  A: An IN-body experience!

Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.