Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."

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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.

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Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.

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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.

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