The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.

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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.

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Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.

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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.

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"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"

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