Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.

A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them. A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet." So they talked for hours, until they came to the subject of sex. The humans told the aliens how humans have sex and the aliens were in shock! It was very similar to the way the aliens did it. The men in the group decided to have a little experiment with switching wives for a night. When the human woman saw the alien ma ... read more

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physic ... read more

One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."

"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."