"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"

 479

0  

Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road? A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.

 1209

0  

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

 346

0  

Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.

 360

0  

Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.

 252

0