Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.

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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.

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A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.

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Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?  A: An IN-body experience!

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