A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.

Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.

In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is ap ... read more

Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.