I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

 484

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A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"

 419

3  

Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...

 593

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How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.

 205

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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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