A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."

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Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.

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While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

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What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.

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Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...

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