Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.

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Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.

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There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"

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A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future. Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!

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