An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"

What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his "pain." "Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve yo ... read more

In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.

"Oh, my love! My darling! If you give me one more kiss, I’ll be forever yours!" "Sh*t... thanks for the warning."