Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.

What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”

I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !

There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it ... read more

Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.