Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?

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Black man found a bottle in the desert, opened it and the genie flew out: "Ask for what you want - I'll fulfill three of your wishes!" "I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!" Genie waved his hand and turned the black man to a water closet...

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Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

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This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight. She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?" The doctor replies, "Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!" She says, "WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?" The doctor says, "Next time your ordered food."

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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