If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses

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"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."

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A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."

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An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"

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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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