An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

 988

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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

 456

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Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.

 50

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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

 1050

1  

I saw a black guy running with a new blu-ray player, and it looked just like mine. So I called my wife, but it turned out ours was still at home picking cotton.

 305

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