Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".

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A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."

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A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: "Look, how much he loves her…" "Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"

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Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

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Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet seat... Husband: How does it help Wife: I use your toothbrush!

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