Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
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Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.