Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.

As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"

A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."

Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"