A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."

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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.

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Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.

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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.

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A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."

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