One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of ... read more

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.

I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.

Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...