Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...

I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.

Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home. Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Repeat with the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet ... read more

Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.