Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.

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Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

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Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!

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A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."

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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.

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