How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!

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It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?

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A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."

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Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.

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Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

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