A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
265
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A frightened investor goes to his financial planner and asks if he’s at all worried about the volatility of the markets these days.
The planner replies that he sure does! In fact, he says that he sleeps like a baby.
The frightened investor was amazed!
"Really? Even with all the fluctuations?"
"Yup! I sleep for a couple of hours, and then I wake up and I cry for a couple of hours."
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How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's?
The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
259
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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning?
"Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."
