Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.

 99

0  

Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.

 74

0  

If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...

 268

0  

Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

 274

4  

Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.

 358

2