Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!
1098
0
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous.
He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg.
All at the same time.
40
0
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See ya next month.
688
0
About 4,000 years ago:
God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!"
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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3
Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar?
A: A calendar has dates.
