A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how ... read more
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
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Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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