Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job?
Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
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Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning.
The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin.
I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?