Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!

Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.

The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine w ... read more

I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...