Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.

 270

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What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

 437

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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.

 256

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Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.

 570

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