Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.

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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

 1136

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Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

 395

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Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.

 653

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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.

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