What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she taped toilet paper to her TV set for free paper view.

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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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