Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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The Perfect Man At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"
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