There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

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Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

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What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.

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