I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.

 350

0  

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

 781

0  

Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.

 219

0  

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

 473

2  

What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!

 281

0