My New Years resolution is 1080p.

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"

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What do you do if you see your TV floating? Say " DROP IT NIGGA". What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating? Run because that is one hell of a big black guy!

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Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.

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