There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

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What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.

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Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

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Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!

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