Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assig ... read more

Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!

Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.