Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.

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My New Years resolution is 1080p.

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The Perfect Man At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"

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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

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