There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin

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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.

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Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"

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