Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."

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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

 506

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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."

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What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

 480

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...

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