Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

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Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.

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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.

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