Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

My New Years resolution is 1080p.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Serv ... read more