Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!

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What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"

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