Yo' Mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a two-hour special of "Lost."

I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.