I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't ... read more

I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected