Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.

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A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. "What are you doing." they ask her. So she replies "Hanging myself." The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck." The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."

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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.

 190

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I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.

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