At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."

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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

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"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?

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Yo mommas so stupid she failed a survey.

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