I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."

 882

0  

At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."

 3980

2  

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

 281

0  

Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.

 110

0  

Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.

 1083

3