A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!

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There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!" George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"

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Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"

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One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.

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Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!

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