Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

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Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.

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Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?

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A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"

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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!

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