Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...

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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

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Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver." The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"

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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.

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Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?

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