Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to g ... read more

What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".