Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.

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What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.

 191

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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.

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