How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.

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The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.

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Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!

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Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.

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How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.

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