My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.

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One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"

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What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

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Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

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I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.

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