Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’

What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!

Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’