Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

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Sex is like air – it’s not important until you’re not getting any.

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Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.

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A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. "Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed." Two days later her doorbell rings. "Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away." "What makes you think you are great in bed?" the woman retorts. Tim replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"

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Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"

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