My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
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A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’
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Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
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Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
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