How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.

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What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

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A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?

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YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.

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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.

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