My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.

 189

0  

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1267

1  

An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

 876

0  

‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield

 180

0  

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."

 265

0