Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’

Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.

A ship goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island. Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived. So they come to this agreement. All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to h ... read more

Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.

‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen