A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife's arm... the wife is turned and she tells him:
I'm sorry but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh.
The husband, rejected, turns back to his bed side and tries to sleep...
Some minutes later it turns again and it uncovers her wife again, he whispers to her:
Have you an appointment with the dentist tomorrow too?
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Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
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Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
