What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’

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‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’ Fred Allen

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A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...

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3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"

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Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…

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