"Hey, today we got the four of clubs. A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy. And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds. I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse." Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." Bill Maher "The president boasted at t ... read more

What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.

Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet? A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.

Girlfriend left but my heart is not broken... My heart is not made in China!

Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.