Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
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Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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What's an extroverted IT professional?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
