The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. H ... read more

Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.