Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette...
126
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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.
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Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week?
A: Turn on the spell checker.
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Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.