Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.

Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”