I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.

God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Commun ... read more

The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.

Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America.