Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!

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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.

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Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.

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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.

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Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.

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