Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.

Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for s ... read more