When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.

Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Commun ... read more

Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.

An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.