Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

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Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.

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An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.

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Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."

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