Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen. The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her. One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom. Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence. All three pronounced their loyalty. That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers. The following week ... read more

Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.

Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.