A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?

A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. H ... read more

We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.

When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.