Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

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A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."

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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.

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Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.

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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.

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