Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called sm ... read more

Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.