Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
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Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
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Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
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