Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
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Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
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Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
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Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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