Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around? ... read more

Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.

Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.