Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.
 353
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
 348
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
 1806
1  

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
 354
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
 218
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