Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
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No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
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It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center o ... read more
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Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
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