Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.

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Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.

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Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"

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