Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.

Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.

Yo' Mama is like a telephone book: available to the public, no charge.

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his he ... read more

How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.