Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.

 242

0  

Your mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!

 355

0  

Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.

 186

0  

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone

 288

0  

Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.

 249

0