Doctor: "You look exhausted." Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."

 929

0  

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

 746

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Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.

 353

0  

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”

 486

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

 733

0