Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
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Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
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Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
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