Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.

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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.

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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.

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Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

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