A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

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Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.

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Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*

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One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor askes her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"

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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.

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