One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor askes her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.

 251

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I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.

 350

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At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."

 474

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Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

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