An elderly couple went to dinner at the home of some friends, also elderly. After dinner, the wives went into the kitchen and the two men were talking. One said, “We went out to dinner last night at a really good restaurant. I’d highly recommend it.” The second man said, “What’s the name of it?” The first man thought and thought, then said, “What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love, the one that is usually red that has thorns?” “Oh, you mean a rose?” said the second man. “Yes, that’s it,” said the first man. Then he called to the kitchen, “Rose, what’s the name of ... read more

Games for when we are older: 1) Sag, You're it. 2) Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. 3) 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4) Kick the bucket. 5) Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6) Doc Doc Goose. 7) Simon says something incoherent. 8) Hide and go pee. 9) Spin the Bottle of Mylanta. 10) Musical recliners.

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.” The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.” One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.” Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they ... read more

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."