A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like? A: Depends.

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”Hey grandma, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!” ”Screw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?”

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Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

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Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

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How do you get an old lady to swear? Get the old lady sitting next to her to shout bingo!

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