On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!

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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.

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