A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."
And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
1270
2
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
1710
0
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
2239
0
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
1181
0
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.