Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!

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Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.

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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

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A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."

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