A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
