My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."
And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
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My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
