This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."

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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.

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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!

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A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man." And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"

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