This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."

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Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.

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On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!

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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

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