A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."

 1970

0  

Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.

 1311

0  

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

 1778

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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

 1133

0  

A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man." And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"

 1332

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