My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve.
Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
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A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."
And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
