On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.

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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

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My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

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You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.

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