When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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