How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But In the end, it doesn't even matter.

A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the emba ... read more

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."