Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."

 924

0  

Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.

 922

0  

I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.

 1262

0  

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? A: Two mothers-in-law.

 866

0  

I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"

 1054

0