Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

 965

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A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

 1005

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I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.

 1289

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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

 956

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Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."

 941

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