Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back.
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Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was Hispanic. So Johnny says, "Mum, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What does it really matter? You’ll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him. So Johnny’s father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question, "Dad, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you’re more Jewish or more Hispanic?" asks his dad. "Well, it’s like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for ... read more
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Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
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Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
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Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
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