Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"

Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hou ... read more

How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.