He was so poor he didn’t even get a yo-yo for Christmas. His parents could only afford a yo.

 149

0  

After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

 175

0  

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashed. To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife what's up. "Well," she replied, "not everyone is as cheap as you are."

 185

0  

A old woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $3.95 for fast delivery or $2.30 for slower service. “There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.” He glanced at her and said, “That will be $3.95, please.”

 252

0  

Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?

 1159

0