Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.

 898

0  

In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Greek, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Greek.

 1194

1  

An old miser comes into the bank with a huge bag of coins. ‘Gracious,’ says the bank teller. ‘Did you hoard all that yourself?’ ‘No,’ replies the miser. ‘My sister whored most of it.’

 219

0  

The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!

 196

0  

‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner

 183

0