Yo' Mama is so poor, when you ring her doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, "DING DONG!"
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Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
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After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
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Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don't work and always take your money.
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Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
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