Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many ... read more

Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."

We were so poor our mother would send us out with a shopping list to chase the garbage truck.

The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...

Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.