Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce?
A: Ten thousand!
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Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
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After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
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Q: Why is horse racing so romantic?
A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
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I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason