I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, ... read more

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason

Misers are lousy to live with, but they make great ancestors.