‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.’ Jay Leno

 138

0  

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".

 303

0  

Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.

 1490

0  

"Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years."

 248

0  

Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

 353

0