A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother. 'You should be on the radio,' said his brother. 'You think I'm that good?' 'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !

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Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.

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A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.

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Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.

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Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.

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