My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day. He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died. I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.

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C H I L D H O O D Is Like Being D R U N K . . .Everyone Remembers What You Did, Except You ..

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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Tragedy of man’s life: Nice men are ugly, good looking men are not nice, good lookin nice men are married, good lookin nice unmarried men are gay...

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Boy 1: Can a woman make you a millionaire? Boy 2: Yes! If you are a billionaire!!

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