On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

 793

0  

1st friend: Bro can i use your phone to call my girlfriend? 2nd friend: Yeah sure, just hit redial

 225

0  

Man1 sitting with dog...Man2:Your dog bites? Man1:No...Man 2 sits and the dog bites! Man2 angrily, you said he does not bite! Man1:That is not my dog.

 200

0  

Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

 780

0  

A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

 993

0