Graduation speech: I would like to thank, The Internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Office and The one who invented copy paste!
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On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
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Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop
Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop.
Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.
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Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.
Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
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A man was dying of cancer...His son asked him: dad why do you keep on telling everyone that your dying of AIDS...He replied: "So that when i die no 1 will touch ur mom"