Did you hear about the gay French General? He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!

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Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.

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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.

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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.

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