During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's ea ... read more

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”

The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following: "Dear Mary, I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"

A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore. As they climbed the gangway, the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above, him he shouted, "Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting!" The following morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days and asked the chief mate why. "Well Sir, when we got you undressed we found that he'd also took a dump in your pants."

There was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'." "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'." The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points ... read more