The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander.” Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. “Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty c ... read more

Q: What is Iraq's national bird ? A: Duck.

First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

What is the difference between a Russian optimist, pessimist and realist? The optimist studies English. The pessimist studies Chinese. The realist stays home and cleans his kalashnikov.

Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior - there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drank.” “But we’s privates,” protests Junior. “NO, we’s sergeants now,” says Bubba, pulling him inside “Now, Junior, I’m gonna sit down and have me a drank.” “But, we’s privates,” says Junior. “You blind, boy!” says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. “We’s Sergeants now!” So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. “You’re cute,” she says, “and I’d like ... read more