An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands …! ”

This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. "Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I ... read more

It was 5:00 in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellows, "This is an inspection! I wanna see you's all formed up outside butt naked NOW!" So, the soldier's quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks. The sarge walked out and yells, "Close up the ranks, conserve your body heat!" So they close in slightly... The captain comes along with his swagger stick. He goes to the first soldier and whacks him right across the chest with it. ... read more

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-da ... read more

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning." "Thank you very much, sir."