What is the difference between a Russian optimist, pessimist and realist? The optimist studies English. The pessimist studies Chinese. The realist stays home and cleans his kalashnikov.

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How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.

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A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

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Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ? A: B-52...F-16...A-10.

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How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

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