How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.

Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !" Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."

Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Three men were walking along in the forest when they were captured by a group of cannibals. The king of the cannibals gives the three men a challenge "If you complete this challenge, you will go free, if not we will eat you." The three men, not wanting to die, agree to hear the challenge. "You most go in to the forest and pick out 10 of any fruit you find, bring those fruits back here" the king says. The three men head out in search of their fruit. The first man comes back with 10 apples in his hands, happy as can be. The king then says "You must shove those 10 apples up your butt wi ... read more