Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

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Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

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John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.

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What's the biggest difference between men and women ? Men are crabby all month long.

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Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.

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