What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.

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Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!

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A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient. The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

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After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...

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Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

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