Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

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Man: Great idea, bad design.

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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".

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A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

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An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.

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