How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconsc ... read more
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Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
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Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
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Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
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