A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
326
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Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
205
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Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
544
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What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
