A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
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Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
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What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
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How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
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Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
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