Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
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A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
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Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "No ... read more
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