Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.

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How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.

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Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!

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Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.

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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

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