Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager ... read more

A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." <gestures at his chest> "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." <gestures down below> "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because D ... read more