If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.

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What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.

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What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

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The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.

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