What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.

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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

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Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.

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