A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.

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Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.

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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.

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