Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...

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Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!

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Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.

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A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”

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How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

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