A real man would never cry in public unless:
He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master.
Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt.
Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
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What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
