Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? "What... You're coming empty handed?"