A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

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Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

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Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.

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"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."

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Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"

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