My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
 5496
1  

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
 1368
0  

Gravely ill, the Skipper was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by. After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway. "Your husband is very sick," the doctor said. "Still, you can do three things to ensure his survival: First, fix him three healthy meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment and don’t complain about anything. Finally, have sex and oral sex with him every day." The doctor left and the woman returned to her husband’s room. "What did the doctor say?" he asked. "I’m sorry, m’dear," she said, "but he said you’re not going t ... read more
 823
0  

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
 1270
0  

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
 1217
0