Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.

 1673

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Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!

 27472

7  

When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4299

1  

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. "Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance." Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. "It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye. "Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?" "I just don't like her", she replied.

 1712

0  

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.

 1349

0