Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

 1105

0  

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.

 1226

0  

It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

 11964

1  

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

 1113

0  

How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.

 549

0