The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"

 920

0  

Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"

 1395

0  

My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

 5600

1  

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

 1388

0  

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.

 1332

0