"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."

 4706

1  

I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.

 3984

1  

An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."

 12125

8  

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.

 1739

0  

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. "Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance." Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. "It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye. "Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?" "I just don't like her", she replied.

 1938

0