Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!

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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

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Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

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The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.

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Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.

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