I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.

 3898

1  

Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

 1231

0  

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

 726

0  

A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’

 1911

1  

My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

 5614

1