Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.

 1699

0  

Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."

 1649

1  

A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’

 1948

1  

Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

 1082

0  

When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4320

1