Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

 743

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

 693

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What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.

 870

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What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off

 564

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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

 517

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