Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.

 39954

36  

What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.

 796

0  

A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."

 25976

8  

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

 693

0  

Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

 473

0