"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"

 556

0  

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

 744

0  

Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

 565

0  

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

 550

0  

Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

 727

0