What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off

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Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.

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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

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