Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

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I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.

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Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.

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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.

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Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

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