Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.

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An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."

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Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...

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