A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."

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Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.

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Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."

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0  

Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, "Mine's OK. We get it on every week, but it's no big adventure. How's yours?" Sally replied, "It's great ever since we got into S&M." Sue was surprised. "Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you'd go for that." "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

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Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.

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