I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
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Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
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A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year unaccompanied in Shemya, Alaska. The first night home, he told his wife he had something to show her. "I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!" And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether. "D**k, ten-HUT!" And with that, his d**k sprang to full erection. "D**k, at EASE!" And his d**k deflated again. "That was amazing," said his wife. "Can I bring over our neighbor to show her?" The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of his accomplishment. ... read more
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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