While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

 502

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What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white? A nigger that’s masturbating himself!

 498

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Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!

 499

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An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

 622

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What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off

 458

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