Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!

 603

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What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white? A nigger that’s masturbating himself!

 622

1  

Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."

 670

1  

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.

 668

1  

Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

 538

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