Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

 583

0  

Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, "Mine's OK. We get it on every week, but it's no big adventure. How's yours?" Sally replied, "It's great ever since we got into S&M." Sue was surprised. "Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you'd go for that." "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

 467

0  

"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"

 468

0  

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.

 542

1  

Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.

 40519

31