Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

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1  

Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

 511

0  

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

 730

0  

A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."

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37  

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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