A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."

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Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.

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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

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Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

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Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.

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