Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off
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A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts h ... read more
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Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
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