Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!

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While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

 528

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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.

 482

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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

 425

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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

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