What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

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How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.

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Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."

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