Why is marriage a three-ring circus?
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
193
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A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."
She goes in and find him with his pants down.
"That's not a watch!" she says.
"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."
281
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My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.
188
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When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
226
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
