At a health forum, speaker asked: What food causes the most suffering for years after eating it? After a long silence, an old man replied Wedding Cake! Of course!

A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going t ... read more

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST...A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE...A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT, is a MARRIED MAN!

A couple come across a wishing well. The husband leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The wife makes a wish too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns. The husband says, ‘Wow! It really works!’

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.