I know of no one who is happily married, except my husband.

 162

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They are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.

 190

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A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"

 196

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A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, ‘Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?’ Her husband replies, ‘Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.’

 202

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I got married to Miss Right. I just didn’t realise her first name was ‘Always’.

 178

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