Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order something of your choice from the menu, And then look at neighborhood table n wish you”d ordered that…

What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a foreign dignitary, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." "Anything, anything," said the ambassador. "First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72-karat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement." The ambassador picked up his cell phone, called his personal accou ... read more

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.