Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

 197

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Man: "What you have prepared to eat today?" Wife: "Nothing." Man: "But you did nothing yesterday." Wife : "I made it for two days."

 196

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Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

 406

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A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"

 344

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A couple has been married for many years, and one day the man tells his wife that he wishes she had bigger breasts. "But how am I going to get bigger breasts?" she asks. "That’s simple." he says, "Just rub your breasts with toilet paper every day." "And that would do it?" the surprised wife wonders. "Well," answers the husband, "it sure did work on your behind!"

 215

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