When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive'... I took her to a petrol station...

A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"

Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.

Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened." The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?" She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my hus ... read more