I can remember where I got married. I can remember when I got married. I just can’t remember why.

 150

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How do you know when you honeymoon is over? When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.

 526

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There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, ”You don’t scare me I am married to your sister!”’

 367

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A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.” The friend says, “Why not?” The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

 205

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Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him." Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."

 190

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