Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s te ... read more
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The Equation of Marriage: 7 Glance = 1 Smile, 7 Smile = 1 Meeting, 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss, 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal, 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage – And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems...So beware of glance!
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Man to friend: ‘When did you first realise your wife had stopped loving you?’ Friend: ‘When she pushed me through the window, and wrote for an ambulance.’
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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