The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.

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Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband : Nothing. Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

 237

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Man at medical store:I need poison...Chemist: I can’t sell you that...Man shows his marriage certificate...Chemist: Oh! sorry, I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

 171

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While inspecting their honeymoon suite, the bride discovers a little box attached to the bed. "What's this for?" she asks her husband. "If you put a quarter in," he says, reaching into his pocket, "the bed starts vibrating." "Save your money," she says. "When you're a quarter in, I start vibrating."

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Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.

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