Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.

 776

0  

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"

 421

0  

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI

 721

1  

I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.

 714

0  

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."

 550

0