"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."

Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"