Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.

HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."

Son: "Mom, I love you so much!" Mother: "I don't have any money, try it with your dad."

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"

Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.