A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist.
And the cardiologist: "Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"
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A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
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My wife and I really love bondage.
She loves it because she's a kinky bitch.
I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
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Q: What are three words you dead the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."
