Women are like telephones.
They love to be held.
They love to be talked to.
But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.
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A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
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Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?
A: A love call.
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Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
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Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.