Teacher: "Johnny, write a sentence ending with the word hand." Johnny: "My penis in your hand." Teacher: "What?" Johnny: "Sorry teacher, I forgot to put a space between pen is."

My teacher said, "If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier." I said, "I don't know about that Miss. Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder."

Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The mayor sees him and asks, "Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?" "I'm taking her to the bulls so she would get impregnated," answers Johnny. The mayor is shocked, "Surely your father had better be doing that?" Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, "Nah, I think it's really best left with the bulls."

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Little Lucy ... read more

I saw the priest watching pornography. Should I get jelous? -Johnny, 11 years old.