What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry Ive got you covered!
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What difference is between a man and Paris?
The Paris remains Paris!
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Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
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What are the three rules for being a plumber?
1. Hot water is always on the left.
2. Shit doesn't flow uphill
3. Never chew your fingernails.
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Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
