Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.

 874

0  

How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.

 681

0  

Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope? A:Just skip it.

 188

0  

What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

 715

0  

Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"

 448

0