Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...

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A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".

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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''

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Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"

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