Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
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My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
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Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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