Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.

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Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."

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How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.

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A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...

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Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.

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