A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.

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I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.

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"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist. And the cardiologist: "Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"

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