Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.

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Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato? A: "You better catch up!"

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-How is Ruth? -Not sure. I broke up with her last month. -Oh no. You're so Ruthless. -And how long have you been waiting to use that? -I'd rather not say.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...

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One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail. The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail. The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail. So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"

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