First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.

A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me t ... read more

Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician? A: Drummers.

The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."