Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.

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Life is a car wash … and I’m on a bicycle.

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Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.

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Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.

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Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"

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