When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.

Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"

Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.