It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!

FOUR stages of girl & boy relation! 1. hand in hand. 2. that in hand. 3. hand in that. 4. that in that.

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially ... read more

Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...