Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
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A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
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I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other: "Man, it's hot in here!" The other one says: "Ah! A talking muffin!"
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J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
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