Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
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Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
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Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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I'm tired 8 days a week.
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So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
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