I've recently got a stalker. He's everywhere all the time. And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me. So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."

I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.

Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system

A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me t ... read more

J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!