During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup. “No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug.” "Do you want a room with or without a view?"

Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.

How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.

There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.

First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.