A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating." The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate." Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life." The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate." Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."

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Where are you going for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.

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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

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If you can't say something nice, say it in French.

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Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.

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