The Dove Bar's like an 80-pound wad of chocolate on a toothpick. If you're not careful when you take it out of the package, you'll snap your wrists.

 921

0  

Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.

 154

0  

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil.

 147

0  

What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.

 101

0  

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.

 136

0