A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."

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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

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Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."

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A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?" The man says "I'm probably too honest." The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality." The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"

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