Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me.
Look how time files!
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Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?"
Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?"
Customer: "No, I can’t."
Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"
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Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish?
Kim: I..
*Kanye grabs mic*
Kanye: She do.
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Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
