Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
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The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
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As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, t ... read more
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