Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?" Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour." Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."

There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.

Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no ... read more

Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.