A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.

 175

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Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing? Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.

 209

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A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.

 248

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A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

 250

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Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!

 79

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