If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.

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Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.

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I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’

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Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

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Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"

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