An aspiring young lawyer was sitting in her office late one night, when Satan appeared before her. The Devil told the lawyer "I have a proposition for you…" "You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your your husband’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and the souls of all your friends and law partners." The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks: "So, what’s the catch?"

What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats? A total waste of space!

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.