Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A: A great place to start.

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A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."

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The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...

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Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.

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Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, Tom, gave me £15,000. And you, Harry, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide this case solely on its merits.’

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