A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

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Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.

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What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.

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What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

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