What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!
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As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, t ... read more
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Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
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To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
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A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
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