A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
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A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A: A great place to start.
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