Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.

 194

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Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

 232

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What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.

 214

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A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."

 826

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Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.

 209

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