Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.

As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.

Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink.