The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.

Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.

At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot ... read more

Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.