What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!

When I was born, everyone was so happy. Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’

When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.

Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

A local charity organization realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the ... read more