A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
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