Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

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Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.

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How do you get a Jewish girl's number? You pull up her sleeve.

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A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.” The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”

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Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!

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