What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.

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A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"

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Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

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Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.

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