“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.

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Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.

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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.

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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.

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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

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