“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.

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Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.

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How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!

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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

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