A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Gunnery Sergeant for his personal staff. The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything diffe ... read more

Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"

The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground ... read more

Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!

A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."