Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."

 394

0  

Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.

 252

0  

When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.

 258

0  

Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.

 304

0  

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

 289

0