Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.

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Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

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What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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