In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.

Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...

A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nic ... read more

Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.

Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.