Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.

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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.

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A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”

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There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

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Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”

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