When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
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What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.