Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.

 400

0  

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

 260

0  

There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

 154

0  

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

 315

0  

Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

 932

0