I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!

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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.

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