Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After ... read more
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An old man goes to his doctor. The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's." And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
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