The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.

 788

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Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

 1361

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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."

 377

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What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.

 259

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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.

 274

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