A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. "Oh great! NOW you tel ... read more

Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?

Peter goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home tired and five hours late. His wife asks him, "What took you so long?" Peter says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Harry hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack." Peter's wife says, "OMG! That's terrible!" Peter says, "I know. Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry. . ."

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's ball-related recreational preferences: The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishma ... read more