A guy and a girl are lying in a room after just having sex. The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests. The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man, oh Man I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin." The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?" "Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity." Astounded, the girl replies,"So you really love me?" "Oh God no!", the guy says."I just got sick of waiting."

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she ... read more

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Commun ... read more