What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!

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God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.

 391

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A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”

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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

 792

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What is the ideal cockpit crew? A pilot and a dog. The pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.

 1333

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