Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
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Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
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