THE BIGGEST LIE Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, “I love my job, I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said, “Turn Left”.

Einstein: I will give you a question, and you will give a question to me as well. If you can’t answer my question, you will give me $1, and if I can’t answer your question, I will give you $1000 Mr. Bean: Okay Einstein: (Gives Mr. Bean a hard question) Mr. Bean: (Give $1 to Einstien) Einstein: Okay, now your turn. Mr. Bean: What is the animal that has 4 legs, and when he crosses a street he only has 2 legs, and when he goes back, he has 5 legs? Einstein: (Thinking very hard) I give up. I can’t answer that. (Einstein gives Mr. Bean $1000) Einstein: But what animal is that, Mr. Bean? Mr. ... read more

My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day. He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died. I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.

A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."