My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day. He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died. I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.

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Mom: Do you think I’m a bad mom Jimmy? Son: Mom, my name is Jack!

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Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night. Beautiful night is, When you hug your teddy bear and sleep. Horror night is, When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

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Today I saw two blind people fighting, then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”, they both ran away.

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New Teacher: All students introduce your name and hobbies 1st boy: My name is Jack and my hobby is watching the moon. 2nd boy: My name is Dave and hobby is watching the moon. 3rd boy: My name is Patrick & my hobby is watching the moon. (All boys told their different names but the hobby was same) New Teacher: Good, all boys have the same hobby, Now its girl’s turn. 1st girl: Hi, my name is moon…

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