John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come? Bro: ok John, but why so many people? John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.” Bro: Wait, what?

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

 793

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John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry? Harry: Yes John John: Nice. Where is she from? Harry: From a different nation John: Oh really? Which nation? Harry: From my imagiNATION.

 754

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1) I woke up 2) I went to school 3) I saw her 4) I ran to her, and I hugged her 5) I kissed her Actually, the right order is 3, 4, 5, 1, 2

 420

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