Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?

Today I saw two blind people fighting, then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”, they both ran away.

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me, Because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity. My dad beat the crap out of me again.

Teacher: Can you see God? Student: No Teacher: Can you touch God? Student: No Teacher: Then there is no God Student: Ma’am can you see your brain? Teacher: No Student: Can you touch your brain? Teacher: No Student: Okay! No comments!!

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of liters per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of liters per day. Interviewer (naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat? Farmer: Which one? Black or brown? Interviewer: Black. Farmer: It eats grass. Interviewer: And the other one? Farmer: Grass. Interviewer (now annoyed): Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same? Farmer: Because, the black one’s mine. Interviewer: Oh, and the br ... read more