A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."

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A guy in a plane stood up & shouted: “HIJACK!” All passengers got scared From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back “HI JOHN”.

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Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?! Doctor: Nine.. Patient: What? Doctor: Eight..

 1953

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My mom told me to Turn down the volume of music on my computer Or else She would smash my head on the keyboard. But I didn’t believejhyteqfgouy i77uufsrhg.

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Boy: hey babe can I show you something? Girl: sure babe Boy: can I show this in your room? Girl: OK Boy: can we close the window? Girl: sure Boy: can you close the door? Girl: okay (grasping) Boy: can you turn off the lights? Girl: sure (even grasping) Boy: grab my hand Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe? Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark

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