John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come?
Bro: ok John, but why so many people?
John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.”
Bro: Wait, what?
853
0
A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.
A policeman arrives.
Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car!
Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off.
Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!
807
0
A: "I was born in California."
B: "Which part?"
A: "All of me."
778
0
Wife was in the ICU
Doctor: It seems she is in a coma
Husband: Please save her doctor. She is just 30
Suddenly the ECG started beeping, a hand moved and her lips mumbled.
And she spoke: I’m not 30, I’m just 29.
847
0
Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.
Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?!
Doctor: Nine..
Patient: What?
Doctor: Eight..
