John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry? Harry: Yes John John: Nice. Where is she from? Harry: From a different nation John: Oh really? Which nation? Harry: From my imagiNATION.

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Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up! *Nobody stands up* Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students over here! *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you’re stupid? Little Johnny: No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone.

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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Boy: hey babe can I show you something? Girl: sure babe Boy: can I show this in your room? Girl: OK Boy: can we close the window? Girl: sure Boy: can you close the door? Girl: okay (grasping) Boy: can you turn off the lights? Girl: sure (even grasping) Boy: grab my hand Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe? Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark

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Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you!!! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

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