Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 955

3  

John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry? Harry: Yes John John: Nice. Where is she from? Harry: From a different nation John: Oh really? Which nation? Harry: From my imagiNATION.

 1005

0  

Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

 1025

0  

1) I woke up 2) I went to school 3) I saw her 4) I ran to her, and I hugged her 5) I kissed her Actually, the right order is 3, 4, 5, 1, 2

 554

0  

If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a Mistake.

 498

1