A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

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Boy 1: Can a woman make you a millionaire? Boy 2: Yes! If you are a billionaire!!

 846

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Today I saw two blind people fighting, then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”, they both ran away.

 447

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I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, “I love my job, I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said, “Turn Left”.

 447

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A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."

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