Boy: Hey, you look so beautiful
Girl: Aww. Thank you. I don’t know what to say.
Boy: Just lie something, like I did.
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Wife: Look at that drunk guy
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him
Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.
998
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On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
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382
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Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.