A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

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Today was my first day entering a court. The judge shouted “Order, Order!!” I was so excited, So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.” I am now locked up in a dark room. I am sure they will bring my order soon.

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Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

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I visited my EX girlfriend and she gave me food. After a few second their dog came in and started to jump over and I said “this dog loves visitors” A child replied, “No! No! Uncle, the problem is that you are using its plate”.

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Interviewer: Introduce yourself Boy: My father’s name is Laughing Boy: My mother’s name is Smiling Interviewer: Are you kidding? Boy: No, he’s my cousin and I’m Joking.

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