Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 770

0  

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

 850

0  

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me, Because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity. My dad beat the crap out of me again.

 409

0  

I was in 10th; she was in 10th. I was in 12th; she was in 12th. I got BSc; she got BSc I was doing MSc; she got married. I was preparing for JRF; she’s the mother of 1 child. I got Ph.D.; she’s the mother of 2 children. I am doing Ph.D.; her daughter is in 1st standard I became doctorate; her daughter is in 10th I have joined job; her daughter has joined college And the greatest Irony! Today is my engagement And her daughter is my fiancée.

 424

0  

My mom told me to Turn down the volume of music on my computer Or else She would smash my head on the keyboard. But I didn’t believejhyteqfgouy i77uufsrhg.

 455

0