Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day. He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died. I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.

Einstein: I will give you a question, and you will give a question to me as well. If you can’t answer my question, you will give me $1, and if I can’t answer your question, I will give you $1000 Mr. Bean: Okay Einstein: (Gives Mr. Bean a hard question) Mr. Bean: (Give $1 to Einstien) Einstein: Okay, now your turn. Mr. Bean: What is the animal that has 4 legs, and when he crosses a street he only has 2 legs, and when he goes back, he has 5 legs? Einstein: (Thinking very hard) I give up. I can’t answer that. (Einstein gives Mr. Bean $1000) Einstein: But what animal is that, Mr. Bean? Mr. ... read more

Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?! Doctor: Nine.. Patient: What? Doctor: Eight..