Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors? A: A piano.

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On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

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Son: Give me money for gym Mom: Will you become John Cena by going to the gym? Son: Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?

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My mom told me to Turn down the volume of music on my computer Or else She would smash my head on the keyboard. But I didn’t believejhyteqfgouy i77uufsrhg.

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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