There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.

Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.