A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

 1354

0  

Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.

 561

0  

Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.

 574

0  

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

 420

0  

"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!

 1930

5