Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
 3091
2  

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer to ... read more
 1753
0  

My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
 1738
1  

Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
 4162
1  

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
 3274
1