Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.

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2  

I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

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4  

(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"

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2  

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

 3929

1  

When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.

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