Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.

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Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.

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Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

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When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"

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(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"

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