Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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*How girls become friends*
Omg I love your shoes!
*How guys become friends*
Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
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Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right.
As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.