You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer to ... read more