'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

 2323

1  

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

 3936

1  

When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"

 1780

3  

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.

 3349

1  

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

 2065

1