Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
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'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
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"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
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