Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.

 4473

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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

 1935

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*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.

 675

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I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

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4  

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

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