Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure ... read more
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First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
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Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
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Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
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