"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

 953

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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4346

1  

Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.

 363

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A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"

 579

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How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

 231

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