Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.

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Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.

 308

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"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."

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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."  First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."

 109

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Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.

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