What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.

 203

2  

If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.

 385

0  

Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.

 188

0  

A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."

 348

0  

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

 2095

1