Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.

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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.

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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.

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First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

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A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?

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