First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."

Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!

Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!

Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods… “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.