What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.

Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.

Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!

Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's anoth ... read more