When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you'r ... read more
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What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
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Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
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What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
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