Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be." The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."
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What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
 103
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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