Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
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I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
 221
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This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The parrot steps out and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness." The guy's astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the pa ... read more
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Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
 95
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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