Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
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An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
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Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
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Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
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