What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.

Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."

Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. H ... read more