Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

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Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.

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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."

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Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.

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