When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.

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At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”

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Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!

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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.

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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.

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