A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my ... read more

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.

Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.